A doctor in her house: My love for Ahmad Zuhayr

Ahmad Zuhay, was born on 11th May 2009. He is my 2nd child. He was a big baby, birth weight impressively 3.6kg, but yet his weight gain later is very poor. During that time I still remember how I look at him, and asking myself whats wrong with you son, why are you so thin, my instinct are weary and yet my mind just refuse to believe any possibility of sickness.

Eventually he got real sick, and finally diagnosed with a congenital heart disease, Total anomalous pulmonary venous drainage(TAPVD). His body oxygen saturation was only 25% at that time. In truth, human being cant even stand it if their saturation was less that 90%, and we will only be comfortable at 100% saturation. And here is my dear baby, surviving at the worst condition ever.

My life then seems...over....my future seems so grey, i cant even see if they is ever future for Zuhayr even myself. Even then, Zuhayr always manage to smile his biggest smile, laugh his most musical laugh and play. He was so wonderful. at such a small age, he has been fighting to live, and he has been winning ever since.


My happy warrior. Before the operation, he needs oxygen support, with tubes all across his face, a tired heart, a suffocating lungs does he complain, does he sulk, no but he decide to smile and laugh...dont we have so much to learn from him?? I do.

Zuhayr with granny, before the operation.

Me counting days before the operation. God knows how I feel, not knowing what will become of him, will I ever hold him again.......even till today I am thankful of the strength Allah have given me during those times...AllahuAkbar.

There are so many reasons in life to be happy about, as much as there are so many reason in life to be sad about, for a child of his age the choice are always clear, little to say about our choice always...

He was admitted at Serdang hospital, where he was born, before we were transferred to IJN(Institut Jantung Negara), 4 days later, on Friday his surgery has been scheduled. In his case, they can be no more delays, his lung is already in hypertension which bear a risk of permanent pulmonary hypertension which means death penalty.

The surgeon explained all the risk, during the operation and recovery, they are all sorts of possible complication, form brain, heart,lung and all body system. What was I to do, there is not much choice and at that very moment I realize how helpless human being are. My strength is only Allah. I gave Zuhay to Him, for He to care, for i could not do anything else, everyday I pray and surrender (tawakkal) to the one true God. At that very moment then I realize, what is the true meaning of Tawakkal, then and there when you know that everything is totally out of your powerless hand, that you can do nothing but pray and hope and believe and not even once ever stop hoping for Allah help(tidak berputus asa dengan Allah).


Just before the operation. At this time my mind and heart just became numb. I was devoid of emotion. As if God has freeze my heart and soul as means of protection.

The surgery was a bit complicated but successful, Zuhayr was sent to the ICU, for his second battle of life, for at this stage, his lungs need to recover from the surgery. He could be in there for quite a while, since he needs the support. Surprising enough my little warrior won all his battle with galore. He was in ICU for only 3 days, Alhamdulillah all thanks to Allah.

Zuhayr just after the surgery, with all tubes all over him.

Zuhayr was already conscious on the 2nd day, asking for drinks. As strong as he is battling the anesthesia all the way to consciousness.


Sleeping in the ward after being transfered from ICU, most complication are almost over. Relief is my word since then.

Feeding by tubes, it has been so long since Zuhayr has ever tasted milk.

In the ward , he recovers very fast, he was very active, cheerful as ever, coping with everything so well, as if we were granted a miracle. One by one, tubes on his body was removed. On the day of discharged, the nurses remove the last wire. And I was holding Zuhayr with such wonder, telling myself, Zuhayr is free from all the life support, and I was so thankful.


My little Zuhayr, have i ever told you with every smile of yours you have given me the light of life.

Finally, Zuhayr was discharged home. At home he recovers just as well, delayed milestones only on his motor skill, he only starts to role over at 6 months, crawl at 8 months,however he catch up soon enough starts to walk by the 1 year old. He is able to talk before the age of 2. There is nothing to difficult for him to handle.